So Many Things

There are times when I wake up

Tongue tied and lost for words

Wounded by all that is within me

Pitty and worry that takes an eternal toll

Paying the price just to live another day

My heart beats harder as the day goes on

Patience runs out as soon as I see

That no one really cares

That we are all really alone in this world

Grabing hold of something now but it's without matter

Lifeless and void, it turns to ash in my hands

So many things that I want to say

But the words avoid me, evading my very mind

Fixing something that I know is broken

Though I am still not sure what part is really leaking

Falling through the cracks of life I slip away

Without perfection I soon will disappear

Now looking at something that is part way great

And part way broken

Dusk and summer collide in the ocean and I can't remember Christmas

Time goes so fast, running quicker from my sight

I don't know where I am or what I am

Understanding only a part of a much bigger story

Looking in the mirror and not knowing who that man is

So hard and rough with sad eyes that make children ask why

All the while trying to recapture a memory that was never there

Kind words fail to come back now

As they were never there to begin with

Brought to life by something within me that just had to live

And anyone other then me will never understand all of this

Jumbled pieces and mixed up meanings join to make beauty

Laughing now as beauty is the thing that brings me here

Part in me and part in others

Deafened by the looks that I get or lack there of

Trying to make sense of it all I don't know why

It's all a trick now and it is just a worthless lie

So don't speak unless you mean it

Don't look unless you act upon it

Just a few of so many things that I try to say

That just don't come out right