What Am I To Do?

Caught between a razor and a knifes edge

Stuck in a place where all light dies

A war for the ages and me without a battlecry

Hopeless and lost, under the weight of oppression

Where do I go when one doesn't want me,

And the other is a liar who spits the juice of vipers?

Holding out for something that will be so great

But I don't see any hope what so ever

There is no light at the end of the tunnel

Just a freight train coming my way

Full blast and ready to bring about pain

I wish to live a life that is void of misery

August burns red and September glows of cooling embers

Lost in the fires of destruction nothing remains

Must I pick up my weapon and continue to fight on?

Wishing and hoping, basing my life on an empty prayer

Where do I go when I have been everywhere?

In and out of the arms of so many

I trade them in like tissues I've blown my nose in

But above that they are the ones who've given me up

Tossing me to the wind like some garbage

No one cares to see the things that lay deep within my heart

Broken and blown to bits there is no going back

Fighting a battle I know I can never win

Only with help from another can I succeed

And that someone that I search for night and day

Continues to elude me for what seems like all eternity

Finding Eden empty except for the souls of the lifeless

The knowledge of good and evil exsists beyond my eyes

Reaching for a hand that when I touch suddenly turns dead

Fake and awake looking at me through cold pale skin

A black heart beats in an empty shell of shattered bones

What am I to do when I look for you and can't see through the pain?

Do you live or is it all just a dream that I've never even seen?

Nothing matters to anyone as long as I'm alive

Passed over like I hold a plague of such terriable proportion

Cast me in the flames now then if you feel I am so wretched

Seen to be a monster, a beast among common men

End my suffering, if you can speak it then you can make it so

A martyrs virus I carry in my bloodline

And I don't know why it is I've been marked to die

For a cause I don't understand except that I know I'm not good enough

So go and put your sundress on, fit into your sundays best

Clean up nice and enjoy the show

Now I go out to make a mockery of myself once again

Living the same mistakes over again, I am useless