Finding A New Way To Die

Each day the circle continues

Around again back the same

Never ending the completion is made

Fading away with each winding day

My heart looks back in misery

Over and over the pain returns

With a thought, with a smile

With the beat in my chest

The tears fall again like a cold rain

Salted by the earth and the moon

For one day I dig a grave

And the next I'm on top of the world

Back and forth there is no stop to the motion

An endless dance that will not cease

Each day I try to start anew

Trying to find a new way to live

And at the same time a new way to die

Nothing of the old works in this new world

I have to discover how to sheed blood again

It is so hard to wipe away the memories

To kill the dreams that reappear

Just the shadows and darkness of the former remain

But the ghost of the past find me as they pass

Wishing to take it all back

To never have lived through those times

I wish I could fall asleep and wake up new

Maybe somewhere between dead and alive

To see the world in a new way

For I have seen both life and death

And there is nothing great about the two worlds

What lays between the extremes of the universe?

Wishing to know what must I do to obtain the key

In finding this new way I see something

Without the words to describe it

I am lost once again and I see the failure return

Cut me open now and send my soul abroad

Let me wonder the earth to find a new start

With new eyes to see things all over bright and true

To be a new person but to remember the cursed

A former me with blackened knees from kneeling down in sorrow

Now I must go to find a me that I can be

In death comes life and in life comes death

No escaping the inevitable torture to come

This place I'm caught in forever

Thoughts of places that are not real

The reality of my mind