Looking For What I Found

Did I ever find what really matters?

How back in the day I had so much pain

And today how I still hold tight

Taking that old life and making it right

Slashing the wrists of regret and watching it bleed

Falling to the floor I don't know what's happening

Lost to all time and space

Memories of the places I used to be come running back

How is it that sometimes I'm right and other times I'm out?

Anger and rage where my only friends

Now as I'm surrounded by friends I still feel alone

As my heart reaches out for something to gain

The feeling of satisfaction never comes in at full force

I should be out like all the others yet I locked myself away

Just another lost child walking through never neverland

Boys and girls looking at eachother knowing that somehow

All those things they had will never go back

Time does not return it only turns out ugly

Full of misery and distress and all that after her dress slid down her legs

Crippled and deformed since birth all I knew was how to sweet talk

And just like all the fellas in the pin

I could kill, steal, rape, pillage, destroy with the best of'um

But how is it these things don't come out of me?

Making it so I stay on a path that I don't fully understand

Rollin' up I keep on looking around and only finding the old

Tired of the same old thing over and over

I need this life of mine to finally take off

Jumping off a building was all that used to consume me

Now thoughts of not knowing anything abuse me

The evil man inside comes out with his ink pointed lead

So life come on and find me

Make me see something different from this black and white scene