Lets Make This One About Me

Lost to feelings I don't understand

Seeing a place and a time I just don't get

Out of my reach and out of my grasp

But so close in my sight that it hurts

A pain that just won't go away

For the first time in a while I will look in

Inward towards my heart and wonder how

How it is I can live the way I do

Carrying so much of the things I hate

So shall we dance, me and my murderer?

Dressed in shame and scorn you look so beautiful

My eyes are filled with fire as you pass the guilt

Around the table we feast of the dead

A sign of what you wish of me to be

Holding hands we waltz to a sad song

Played by the dead who see with unseeing eyes

You reach out of the past to take a bite from my heart

Writing this out to you and you contact me

Hitting me like a brick to the face I now wish to die

Wanting so badly to be with and without you

I know where my heart remains

In the same place that you put it the night you left

So many times I wanted to cry

I knew that it was all an attack to bring me to my knees

I'm breaking deep down inside and I wonder why

You have this hold on me, why the fuck why?

My life must be about me, no one but me

Trying to speak out my words and thoughts but they have died

All before they hit my tongue that passed on by

Bury me alive now so that I may go too

Lock the gate and watch me burn behind the irons

Sometimes the joy of my memories kills me

It's funny how life happens when you don't expect it

So this one was finally about me

And it hit me so hard that I think I will waste away