I Am The Cheater

Thought that I was strong and I turned out weak

Couldn't hold on till I got out of the car

I had to go in, the animal in me had to kill

Giving over to my sinful desires, my flesh was all that matter

Can't say I didn't see your face in all of this

And even in seeing you there I still turned away

Breaking your heart over something that should have never happened

I fucking hate myself and there is not getting past that

Past the fact that you are better then that and better then this

A life on the edge where you never know when the one you love will fall

Breaking my heart over and over again as I hear you cry

The voice rings out in my head and my soul begins to die

Giving all I had away to someone I even called my friend

This was more then just a mistake, this now means war

A battle I will have to fight every fucking day

We are together for the long run, the fight has just begun

Yet in the wee hours of the this dawning love day

I break away from the pact we made and dive straight into lust

Losing a part of me to someone that I love just as much as you

A life of fucking confussion, this is all I know

Loving two people so much and the same

How is it that I cannot commit when one has and the other has not

Going after that thing that I just can't fucking have

I truely am the bastard that I was always told I was

Locked away in my coffin now, death comes on swift wings for me

I smell the the smoke and a feel the flames as hell comes closer each day

Gone from you and everything that I ever knew as home

I am the cheater, I am the liar, I am the hater, I am the sinner

Breaking all I knew that was pure and true

I'm so fucking sorry but you don't know what it's like to live out of control

Lost and afraid, you could be the end of the race I was always looking for

Yet it still remains that I am alone and I fucking turn away

Looking past all that is within my reach and turning for what feels best

You are so good to me yet I treat you like shit

Lock the cemetary gates I'm forever doomed

But you look at me and say you still love and that you forgive

How can you forgive me when I can't forgive myself

What the fuck is fucking wrong with me?

Nothing last forever in this life of mine, everyone always says goodbye

So why won't you say goodbye and leave it all behind?

My face, my image, my heart, my now fading love

I want to go back in time and change everything about this fucking world

But I can't and again I must spend another night in the fiery furnace

Burning alive with guilt and agony, why are you so good to me?

I deserve none of this and yet here you are again and again and again

With eyes that pierce the deepest parts of me you look and still believe

Seeing all that is within me, and here you are with me

What the fuck did I do to deserve something this good?

Nothing, so you should not even be here, so run, go far away

I'm gonna fucking hate myself forever for this one

And there is no forgiveness for hurting an innocent one

So answer my questions answer the pleading parts of my soul

I am nothing and then I'm less so why the fuck play this game?

There is no hope left and even worse there is nothing left in me

It's all fallen out, spilled like fresh blood on the burning floor

Change is the only way, change for the both of us

There is no getting away from the fact that we all must change

So without change I will always be stuck this way

I'll be here locked in the chains of being a bitch-ass man

Leave me behind and go on with your life my loved one

I am not the angel you used to know anymore

I've turned into that demon, the one I always knew would come